Hidden Desires
by MasterBez
Summary: Lilibeth Lovegood's crush on one Draco Malfoy may be more than just hopeless dreams. This is where she'll find out. Rated for swearing. Mostly. DM/OC :D BETTER THAN THE SUMMARY! My summaries fail :/.
1. Happy Willow Trees

Lilibeth walked down the Charms corridor with a spring in her step. She was having a good day and no one could ruin it for her. Suddenly a familiar white-ish-blonde haired boy came through the crowd.

_Cue Malfoy._ She thought, sighing. She loved the way his ear-length hair swished as he strutted down the corridor. Not that he would ever know that of course. 

Malfoy walked by quickly, knocking Lilibeth's books from her hands and laughing as he went. If she had just looked up as he ran away she would have seen the longing in his eyes as he looked back at her bright blonde head. 

She bent down to pick up her books, "That prat!" She exclaimed, not actually meaning it, of course. 

"Oh Lily!" She heard a voice quite like her own say. 

"Hey Luna!" Lilibeth hugged her twin tightly after standing up. 

"Daddy sent the next Quibbler up." Luna said as they walked into Charms, handing her a copy, "He believes it's his best yet, and so far I'd have to agree." 

Lily opened the copy and started reading, no attention being paid to Luna or the magazine. All of her thoughts were on that one boy. The one she couldn't have, the one her friends hated, the one she though she could change. 

~o~

After class was over for the day Lily, Luna, Harry, Ginny, Hermione, and Ron were sitting under a weeping willow tree near the lake just chatting. 

"You know, even though it's called a weeping willow I think it looks rather happy." Lily said out of the blue. Luna nodded in agreement, Ginny shrugged, and the rest gave her an odd look. Lily just smiled and went back to reading her book. 

"Lilibeth." A familiar voice sneered. 

"Draco." Lily replied with an equally acidic tone. 

If she had just looked up from her book she would have noticed the hurt look on Draco's face that her sister happened to see. 

When Lily looked up Draco was long gone. Her face showed no emotion but her eyes betrayed the hurt. 

While reading Lily only heard snippets of conversation. 

"Harry! Your occlumency must improve before…" 

"Blimey! That's terrible mate." 

"I think the nargles took my…" 

And so on. The one sentence that pulled her from her thoughts was: "Why in bloody hell is Malfoy watching us?" 

Lily's head snapped up at the name, "Wait! What?" 

"I _said_ 'Why in bloody hell is Malfoy watching us?'." Ron responded slowly as if he was talking to a small child. 

"I heard you!" She said, thumping Ron lightly on the head with her book. 

They all laughed, and nobody noticed the miserable and regretful look on Malfoy's face as he walked away.

~o~

They kept talking until Filch came out and yelled at them to go to their dorms because it was too late to be out and if he caught them all out this late again they'd have detention and so on.

Back in their dorm room in the Ravenclaw tower is where Luna attacked her sister with questions.

"How come you looked so hurt when Malfoy left? I'd think that him just sneering your name wouldn't upset you."

"Just because, okay Luna? Just please leave me alone." Lily replied, pulling the curtain around her bed and laying back, still fully dressed.

Luna pulled the curtain back a little, "Ooh! You like him!" She said before pulling it shut again and skipping over to her bed, giggling.

"I DO NOT!" Lilibeth yelled.

_Denying it wont help anything._ Her inner voice said.

_I know, I just don't know how well my friends will accept it, or my sister._ Lily replied.

Lilibeth pulled the curtain back on the side where Luna's bed was, "Okay, so maybe I do. But it's not my fault I like him, it's his fault for being so dang irresistible." She defended herself before shutting it again.

"I think it's rather sweet. He needs someone to bring him to the reality that he's not the center of the world." Luna said.

Lilibeth smiled, _1 down, 4 more to go._ She thought to herself. She pulled the curtain back and rolled over to face Luna. She smiled at her twin as a thank you.

"You know, when you were reading and you replied to him, he looked a little hurt that you replied in a mean way." Luna said after turning so she was laying on her stomach facing Lily with her legs crossed up in the air behind her.

Lily got into the same position and rested her head in her hands, "Not possible, you probably just read too far into it." she replied.

"I was right about you, wasn't I?" Luna asked with a mischievous glint in her eyes.


	2. Corridor Drawings

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING APART FROM LILIBETH AND THE PLOT! I just enjoy playing with J.K.R's toys. :)**

**A/N: So I wasn't lucky :/ oh well. This is faster then I normally post. Ever. I really like this story and have plottage ideas in my brain that I wish to get to. ON WITH THE STORY :D**

* * *

The next day when Lily woke up she grinned, realizing that it was Saturday and she had very little homework so she could do whatever. She decided upon simply sitting on a bench that she was fond of in an empty corridor on the 5th floor.

Lily brought her book and walked up many staircases before turning the corner to see Draco sitting on the bench, drawing in a ratty old notebook.

She approached him quietly so he wouldn't notice her and once she was standing in front of him she said, "What are you doing here? This is my spot."

Draco jumped and looked up at Lily, "I didn't see your name anywhere around here. I'm pretty sure it's the school's spot technically." he replied rudely before going back to drawing.

"Well I came here to read so that's what I'm going to do and you cant make me leave." She replied, walking across the corridor and sliding down the wall. She sat with her knees pulled up to her chest and her book rested on her knees.

In her peripheral vision Lily saw Draco studying her. She ignored it at first but he kept looking at her then back to his notebook to draw more. This irritated Lily so when she saw him look at her again she looked up at him with faux anger in her eyes, "Why do you keep looking at me?" she practically growled.

Draco looked genuinely scared and Lily's mask faltered for a split second. Draco didn't notice this though. "No r-reason." He stuttered.

Lily stood up and _strutted_(Lily does not normally do so) over to Draco, "Were you drawing me?" she asked.

"N-no." Draco replied, quickly hiding the notebook.

"Show me. Please." Lily whispered, her face softening as well as her voice.

Draco decided to ignore this and flipped back to the page he had been on and handed it to her, hands trembling.

Lily took the notebook from his hands gently and looked at it. The picture that was there was of her sitting against the wall, reading. She was amazed at the detail. He got everything, even down to the pattern in the bricks behind her.

"Y-you drew this?" She asked quietly.

Draco looked sad, thinking she had meant it offensively.

"Draco, this is really _really_ good! How did you get it so detailed?" Lily gushed.

Draco blushed a light pink, "I-it's nothing. I doodle like this all the time. It's all in the perspective." He replied quietly, looking down at his lap.

"This is the best doodle _I_ have ever seen." Lily said, sitting on the bench next to Draco.

Draco's blush darkened slightly. Lily grinned, _I'm getting _the_ Draco Malfoy to blush. SCORE!_ She thought to herself.

"Uh, Draco?" She asked quietly, looking at him.

"Yes?" He replied, looking up to meet her gaze shyly.

"I-I was wondering i-if maybe we could be... um... well, not enemies." She admitted, breaking her gaze to look at her lap and blush a light pink color.

Draco was surprised. He was thoroughly positive that she hated his guts. Then it hit him like a ton of bricks. She was only pretending! _Just like me..._ He thought.

Lily was surprised when she saw a smile cover Draco's face. Not a smirk, not a fake smile, a real, true smile.

"Sounds like a plan." He replied. "Bye Lily." He bid her a good-bye before standing and walking away, notebook in hand.

Lily sat there breathless for a bit before standing up and heading towards the Ravenclaw Common room.

* * *

"So you really got him to blush?" Luna asked. Lily had gone straight to her sister when she entered the common room and they were now whispering to each other in a corner.

"Yep." Lily replied proudly.

"And you guys aren't enemies any more?"

"Yup!"

"Did either of you realize that not being enemies means that he has to be nice to your friends and you to his?"

"Crap. _Thanks_ Luna. You just ruined the best moment of my life so far." Lily replied, groaning.

"Sorry, just being logical." Luna apologized.

"What am I gonna do? Everyone has to be nice to each other for this to work and it never will!" Lily said with an exasperated sigh.

* * *

(With Draco)

"I don't understand!" Goyle said.

"Goyle I have explained this three times already! We need to be nice to Po-I mean, Harry and his friends so I can not be enemies with Lilibeth!" Draco said, hitting his head against the padded wall of the Slytherin common room.

"But we've always been mean to them! They aren't on our side! Plus Potter's always out for glory!" Crabbe added.

"AUGH!" Draco yelled, hitting his head harder then turning on his gang, "You both _will_ be nice to Lily in her friends or at least, not mean. No taunting, name-calling, nothing! Do you bumbleheads understand?"

"Fine." They both muttered submissively.

Draco grinned to himself, a real one again. He seemed to be doing that more often lately, he noticed. "I don't wanna screw this up, so you'd better be on your best behavior otherwise I _will not_ hesitate to hex you." He said to Crabbe and Goyle.


	3. Moral Support

Lily sighed quietly to herself, knowing this was going to be very hard. She had decided upon telling Hermione and Ginny first since they were more likely to understand and had less of a grudge against Malfoy.

They had decided to all get together at the Library after classes on Monday to do their homework, and Lily was getting more and more nervous as the day continued. Of course, at this meeting she would only tell them about the not-enemies thing. Her crush would be revealed in it's own good time.

She watched as the clock ticked slower and slower until it seemed as if each passing minute was another hour. She wished it would speed up so she could get the meeting over and done with quicker.

The bell finally rang signaling the ending of the school day. Lily hopped up out of her seat as quickly as she dared, grabbed her stuff, then rushed out with everyone else.

Instead of going up the right staircase like she normally would to get to the common room she went down the left one to head to the library, Luna trailing just behind her. Luna was coming for moral support.

Luna and Lily arrived before the other two and decided on a table closer to the back. The set up their homework things and got to work.

Ginny was next to arrive, only 3 minutes and 27 seconds later. Not that Lily was counting. Hermione followed just 35 seconds after Ginny and they all buckled down to work.

They worked for a solid 5 minutes before Ginny broke the silence. "Did anyone else notice that Malfoy and his goons didn't bother any of us at all today?"

"I was wondering about that." Hermione agreed, "It was quite out of character of them. They must be up to something."

Luna glanced at Lily as if to say _Now's your chance!_ Then looked back to her homework, nodding at Hermione.

Lily sighed inwardly, "Guys, I have something I wish to say." she said, keeping her voice level. When they looked up at her and she was positive they were listening she continued, "I sort of talked to Draco this weekend, since he was in my spot, and we ended up deciding not to be enemies any more. When I told Miss Logical over here about it she said we'd have to be nice to the other's friends in order to not be enemies. So we've gotta not be rude to them at least."

Hermione gasped but Ginny grinned, "So you decided to go for it then?"

"G-go for what?" Lily asked nervously.

Ginny rolled her eyes, "You know what I'm talking about. Do you really want me to say it out loud where everyone can hear?"

Lily shook her head fearfully and Hermione gave them an inquisitive look.

"Lily likes somebody." Ginny said childishly.

Lily glared at Ginny, flushed from both embarrassment and anger. She gave her a warning look.

Hermione looked to Lily, "Ooh! Who?" She asked eagerly.

"It's-" Luna threw her hand over Ginny's mouth.

"Now Ginny, you know that that is not your secret to tell." Luna said in a jokingly scolding voice.

Lily looked at her lap, still blushing, when a look of realization dawned upon Hermione's face.

"Oh! So _that's_ why the boys couldn't come!" Hermione said.

"Yes. Since they're such enemies they probably would have started yelling at Lily." Luna replied.

Lily didn't want to look up, fearing rude judgment.

"Lily, why didn't you tell us? We aren't going to hate you for the inevitable." Hermione said kindly.

Lily looked up, "I was scared." She admitted quietly.

Ginny suddenly got a very mischievous look, "We need to make a plan." she said, grinning evilly.

"A plan for what?" Lily asked.

"Well..."


	4. Shakespearian Insults

**DISCLAIMER- I own nothing you recognize, so all I own is Lilibeth and the plot.  
A/N-Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated but I was uninspired until 2 nights ago. :P So here's chapter 4 and hopefully 5 will come soon. :D  
A/N2-PS- Reviews are love, give love please? :3**

* * *

"...first off is to tell Harry and Ron. But the main one is to get you closer to him." Ginny explained to them.

They all nodded in agreement and set to think up a solution.

They were in the library until late, when Madam Pince found them and shooed them stating that it was 'well past curfew' and 'time for bed'.

Hermione last words before they parted were "You should just tell the boys, flat out, about the friendship at least." and with that, the pairs separated to head to their designated common rooms.

The next morning Lily was up and pacing at 5:30 AM. She was a nervous wreck and she didn't know how to say it to the boys. She was so scared they would yell at her for this.

_Breakfast starts at 7, the boys probably won't get there until 8-ish, you have a lot of time to think this through. Breathe Lily, breathe._ Her inner voice soothed her.

_OH MY GOD SHUT UP! That's only 2 and a half hours to figure out how to tell them to be nice to their **arch nemesis**! HOW WILL I DO IT?_ She yelled back.

Soon enough everyone was awake and dressed and headed to the great hall. Luna and her sister hugged tightly before Lily branched off to go to the Gryffindor table, rather than her own.

Sitting down next to Hermione they shared a discreet grin then Lily looked across the table to the exhausted boys.

"Excuse me boys, I hate to interrupt your bacon festival but I have a proposition for you." Lily says, grabbing an apple and taking a bite after her statement.

Ron just shrugged but Harry looked at her skeptically, there had to be more to it, "What's the proposition and what's the catch?"

"Well, Dr-Malfoy and his friends have agreed to be nice, on one condition..." Lily trailed off, staring into space.

"What's the condition?" Harry asked.

Lily paused, "Youhavetobenicetothemtoo." she spit out quickly before taking a rather large bite of her apple.

The shock was evident on both boys faces. Ron had dropped the piece of bacon from his mouth as he went slack-jawed from her news.

Their looks discouraged Lily and she made to get up and run off, but Hermione grabbed her arm and held her down.

The boys pondered for a few moments, "So they won't bug us if we don't bug them?" Lily nodded, "Sounds good to me." Harry said, Ron nodded in agreement, continuing to eat his bacon.

Lily stayed for breakfast, but from the next table over Draco (who was _not_ looking for Lily, thank you very much) saw her stature visibly lighten, like someone had taken 2 tons of weight off of her shoulders. He knew it must mean that they'd agreed so he ended up grinning to himself, getting a few funny looks from the others. He glared and they quickly looked away.

After classes that day Lily found herself not heading towards the common room or Library as usual, but to the little bench in the 5th floor corridor. As she approached she saw no one there and sighed sadly. She sat down and opened her book.

She didn't hear the almost silent approaching footsteps, but if she had the quiet 'Boo!' wouldn't have startled her.

She jumped and looked up(at the 'Boo!') and nearly smacked him in the face. "You scared me you monstrous malefactor." She said, returning to her book.

Draco gasped, "Well I think you're a herd of boils and plagues!" he responded, a mischievous glint in his eye as he sat down.

Lily's head snapped up, "Mad-headed puke-stocking!"

"You stuffed cloakbag of guts!"

"You're just a huge bombard of sack!"

"You barren-spoiled man. You carcass fit for hounds."

"Carcass fit for hounds? Now that's a burn." Lily admitted.

"I know right? Carcass fit for hounds? Not bad." Draco said, slightly arrogant.

Lily fought the urge to roll her eyes then returned to her book, "I didn't see you as the type to read Shakespeare." she said, not looking up.

Draco blushed slightly, "Yeah. No one knows, and they can't know either."

"I won't tell, if that's what you're implying." Lily said, flipping the page of her book.

Draco leaned over to see what she was reading, "What'cha-OH MY GOD MY EYES!" he quickly covered his eyes and she slammed the book shut and blushed.

"Why on EARTH are you reading that?" Draco asked, not uncovering his eyes.

"No reason." Lily was looking anywhere but Draco. It was just her luck that the day she started reading this book would be the day he wanted to see what she was reading.

Draco peeked through his fingers and saw that she had put her book away so he pulled his hands away from his face, "Please tell me?" He asked quietly.

Lily was startled by the gentle tone of his voice, he was acting rather out of character, "It's embarrassing."

"I was embarrassed about my drawing, wasn't I? But you made me show you." Draco reasoned, resisting the odd urge he had to hug her.

"But it's more embarrassing than that Draco." She said in a hushed voice, her face a very deep red.

"Just tell me Lily, I swear I wont tell anyone." Draco begged quietly. Lily finally muttered something, but he didn't hear, "What?"

"I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SEX OKAY? DID I SAY IT LOUD ENOUGH FOR YOU?" Lily yelled out, her blush darkening(if at all possible).

Draco was taken aback when she yelled out. He'd never heard her talk above her normal tone of voice before then. Once he processed what she said he started blushing.

Lily looked up at Draco, "Wait, why are you blushing?" she asked. This caused him to blush darker and confuse Lily more. "You can tell me, and if it has to do with those n-nasty r-rumors I don't m-mind." In truth she did mind. She didn't want to hear about his sex life.

"I-it's not completely true." He admitted quietly. Her head snapped up so he continued, "I have not had sex with most of the girls everyone thinks I have, but I ended up losing my vir-virginity to Pansy. Other than that one time, I have not had sex." by the end of this he was speaking very softly and blushing rather darkly.

"R-really?" She asked, he nodded, but barely, so she continued, "H-how did it happen?"

The blood drained from Draco's face, leaving it paler than normal, "I can't talk about it here, someone might over-hear it and that can't happen."

Lily stood, gathering her things, "Room of requirement then?" she asked, straightening up.

He nodded tensely so they walked up the two floors to the 7th and were in front of the tapestry across from a blank wall. "Let me do this." Lily said, walking back and forth 3 times, concentrating on what they needed most.

Immediately after the 3rd time a door appeared. She walked up to it and opened it, holding it for Draco. He walked in and saw a small room, just a coffee table in the middle, two armchairs on either side facing each other, a fireplace and some windows. The walls were paneled with dark wood and the floors were carpeted with a deep red color. He was amazed, there were even 2 butterbeers on the table.

"I was unsure of what you'd want to drink, so I just got 2 butterbeers, I hope that's okay with you." Lily said as she sat down in the dark blue armchair.

"That's fine." He replied, sitting in the dark green armchair across from Lily's blue one, and picking up his butterbeer.

"Would you like to start?" Lily asked.

"Well, it's a long story..." Draco said, trying to change the subject.

"Drake, please don't change the subject, I just wanna know." Lily said gently.

Draco looked up at her, looked into her eyes and whispered, "She raped me."

* * *

**A/N: Credits for the banter of their Shakesperian Insults go to John Green of the Vlogbrothers, also well known author. From a video from some time in July of 2007 :) That is all 3**


	5. Mostly Neat Clothing and Messy Hair

_Last time: Draco looked up at her, looked into her eyes and whispered, "She raped me."_

* * *

Lily gasped, how could someone do that to him? "Draco, oh my god!" she got up and stepped over the coffee table to hug him. She got them situated so they were next to each other in the chair and she was hugging him. She stroked his hair comfortingly, "Please go on Draco, how did it happen?"

"Back when we were dating she told me she wanted to go all the way, it was back in my 4th, your 3rd, year. I had refused, saying how we were too young and I was taught to be a gentleman and she-" he cut off and let out a dry sob, then continued, "she tied me to the bed, gagged me, banished all of our clothes, then she started touching me. It scared me how good it felt. I tried to resist but she just hit me so I stopped resisting, but just went limp. As much as I didn't want to, I kind of enjoyed it, in the terms of pleasure anyway. But she just got on me and, y'know, did that. When she was-" another, louder, sob here, "done she just untied me, got redressed, and left. Just like that." By the end of his story they were both crying. Lily repressed her sobs, but the tears were rolling down her face like there'd be no tomorrow. She held him closer and whispered things like 'Don't worry, I won't let her hurt you ever again.' or 'It's okay. It's over now.' and it was at least an hour before they both calmed down considerably.

"Are you feeling better now Draco?" Lily asked.

Draco sniffed then nodded, "That's-that's the first time I've said it out loud." his eyes widened at the realization. He whipped his head to meet her eyes, "You can't tell anyone! Nobody at all! Not even Luna. Just, please."

Lily looked like she would resist for a couple seconds, but quickly nodded seriously.

Draco tried to smile at her, but the best he could muster was a grimace. She smiled back at him sadly, rubbing his back and stroking his hair. They both sat in a comfortable silence together for around 20 minutes until Lily looked out the window.

"Shit! Draco! It's really late! It's dark out and we're in here!" She exclaimed, refraining from jumping out of the chair as to not knock Draco to the floor.

Draco just shrugged, "I think I'll stay here tonight."

Lily gasped, "But Draco! It's Tuesday! There's class tomorrow!"

Draco shrugged again, "That's why _you_ are the Ravenclaw, and _I_ am the Slytherin."

"What about food and water?" Lily asked.

"The room can provide it. You're welcome to stay as well if you wish." He gestured around the room as if to say _it's an easy choice_.

Lily felt like she was being torn in two. She wanted to stay with Draco but her studies were very important. How could she choose?

Lily looked at the door longingly and Draco rolled his eyes, "You could always just summon your stuff and go to class tomorrow too." He stated as if it were obvious.

Lily wore a confused expression before nodding determinedly, opening the window and muttering, "Accio school bag." and soon enough it came zooming in, with an extra set of clothes and the proper books inside. Lily was confused again until she saw the note. She pulled it out and nodded, smiling slightly, before setting it with her stuff and returning to Draco.

"What was that?" Draco asked.

"Just a scrap of paper I left out." She answered a bit too quickly for it to be true.

"Teeeeelllll meeee." He whined (as Draco does not normally do) to her.

She just blushed and shook her head, but Draco decided to just get up and run over and grab the note before she could stop him. As he quickly read the note, he blushed a very very light shade of pink then shook his head to clear it and cleared his throat, proceeding to, in his best impression of a girl's voice, read the following out loud: "Dearest Lily, I figured since you hadn't come back you would be staying wherever you were and decided to pack your things for you. Presumably you are with Draco, so, Good luck. Sincerely, Luna."

Lily's blush darkened and she ran over and snatched the note from him, "That was _not_ for your eyes. That was for my eyes only."

"Good luck with what?" He asked, a mischievous glint in his steel gray eyes.

Lily looked away awkwardly, "I-It's nothing." she mumbled.

Draco grinned at her, all sadness forgotten in the recent events, "C'mon! Tell me!" he whined.

Lily glared, "I can still leave." she threatened.

"But Liiiillllllyyyyy!" he whined, resigning but not forgetting.

"NO. And if you bring it up again tonight I will leave and completely ignore you for the rest of the week." He could tell by the look in her eyes that this was no empty threat.

He sighed and went back to lay in his chair. Lily looked over awkwardly, unsure of whether she should join him or not. Draco rolled his eyes then scooted over and patted the chair as if to say, _Come, sit._

Lily smiled a little then joined him and leaned her head on his shoulder, falling asleep almost instantaneously.

Once he was positive Lily was asleep, Draco smiled and kissed the top of her head lightly, freezing when she moved, but relaxing when she snuggled into him. He settled down to sleep.

* * *

Lily's eyes opened slowly. The light filtering into the room was low. Disoriented, she looked around the room, trying to figure out where she was, because this was certainly not the Ravenclaw dormitories. She realized something was moving behind her and jumped up, positioning herself defensively. She relaxed at once, seeing Draco. She realized where she was. Lily looked outside then sighed in relief, judging by the light outside breakfast was just starting in the Great Hall so she had about 2 hours before class started.

Lily got dressed then sat in the blue armchair and opened her bag and pulled out a paper. She wrote a note for Draco then left it on the coffee table for when he woke up.

When Lily got to the Great Hall and sat by her fellow 5th year Ravenclaws, she realized she must look very odd, what with neat (if not slightly creased and wrinkled) clothes and overly messy hair. She blushed and looked down, wishing her sister would get there so there was less awkward silence.

* * *

**A/N~Soooooo. You like? I will not beg for reviews but I DO promise virtual cupcakes to anyone who does. :3**


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